More than five million children have experienced a parent being incarcerated, many of whom were married or in a romantic relationship with someone. Losing someone to incarceration and jail time is a different category of grief that is often left unspoken. Some may assume the arrested individual is guilty and therefore deserves to stay in jail. However, they don’t consider the impact incarceration may have on the surrounding family members, especially children who may not understand the circumstances.
Top 3 Ways Jail Time Affects A Family and Loved Ones
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Financial Impact
When a loved one is arrested, it can result in financial instability for many families. An individual who was once providing funds is now removed from the home, discontinuing a source of income. Bills may be more difficult to pay, which could ultimately lead to debt, foreclosures, and potentially bankruptcy.
Not only is a source of income removed, but paying lawyers to support your family behind bars can be costly. Lawyers are expensive and can cost up to thousands of dollars. This can be especially damaging to low-income families who were previously struggling.
This impact continues even when the individual is released. Reentering society can be a difficult process for those who have been incarcerated. They may have lost their jobs, and it may be harder to secure employment once you have a criminal record. This can leave loved ones feeling responsible to provide, increasing financial stress.
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Emotional Impact
Depression, low self-esteem, sleep disorders, and ruined marriages are all side effects of having an incarcerated family member. Many children have been proven to show a decrease in academic standing and an increase in potential delinquent or aggressive behavior, and marriages have been seen to take a heavy impact.
Incarcerated men are three times more likely to have their marriage fail than those who are not confined. There are many stressors on a relationship during a time like this: lack of daily interaction, costs of collect calls, shame and anger towards your loved one, and the possible psychological and emotional distance created by inmates who have had to develop survival skills behind bars. Those involved in a relationship may begin to feel loneliness and depression, which can be fatal to an intimate connection.
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Social Impact
Having a family member in jail is not a simple burden to carry. It comes with baggage. There is often a stigma associated with individuals who are related to someone incarcerated. Erik Cabrera-Zamora, a law school graduate who delivered his TED talk about his experience with his father in prison, claimed that, “There’s a face people make when you tell them that your parent is in prison.” He is not the only one who has experienced this.
Creasie Finney Hairston, the Dean of the University of Illinois Chicago, has conducted research and written in-depth about the incarceration of families. Her work has been featured in multiple academic and professional journals. In her findings, she found that, “Often, whatever that person did to be imprisoned, the perception is transferred to his or her family members.” It is unfair to transfer judgment to individuals who are already grieving a family member. Managing others’ perceptions is only another obstacle during this difficult time.
Losing a family member to jail time is difficult and may feel lonely, especially around the holidays. People are naturally social, and sharing a meal is one of the most meaningful ways we strengthen our connections with one another. Being separated from family during a time meant for togetherness can strain relationships and take a toll on everyone’s well‑being. If a loved one has been arrested, there’s still time to change the situation; you can post bail and bring them home to spend the holidays with you.
